I have come to the conclusion that everything I love is directly or indirectly trying to kill me. Let me divulge but let me first state that I am under the influence of allergy-relieving medication so if I begin to not make sense I apologize.
Directly:
Allergies - Allergies to things I love such as my kitties cause asthma related symptoms and subsequently lead to breathing dysfunctions.
Boyfriend - Boyfriend means well, but sometimes can be smothering. And sometimes Boyfriend can turn into his alter-ego Jerkbag and cause undo stress which elevates my heart rate which could potentially lead to cardiac arrest.
Nieces - My nieces are the most awesome people ever, but they love strenuous play, i.e. being thrown around like super girls, getting horsie rides, being chased around, etc. After about 20 minutes of lifting and tossing (and chasing) a 50 lb. child, I'm spent. It's partly because I do not have children or much interaction with them to begin with and it's also partly because of my lack of "in-shape-ness" and also breathing related issues that cause me to feel ready to collapse.
Indirectly:
I guess all things that indirectly try and kill me and all lead to the source of my failure of an immune system and these horrid allergies (are allergies immune system related?).
I cannot be outside because of the grass/pollen/trees... I cannot escape inside because of dust/dust mites/poor air quality being circulated inside from the great outdoors that leads to having grass/pollen/trees eeking through gaps in my drafty doors.
In conclusion to everything I love, thank you for trying to kill me.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Monday, May 17, 2010
Indecent Crayon Exposure
I very much like to color. When I get the urge to color in a new coloring book, a brand new box of crayons is an essential part of this.
Let me go into detail explaining why:
1. I much enjoy the smell of fresh ink and wax when you've opened a previously-hermetically sealed box.
2. I feel using used crayons hampers your creativity. If you're coloring something and no other shade but "Purple Mountians' Majesty" will do (and yes, I spring for the 120 count box of crayons, not the measly eight pack you get while you're in elementary) and you find that this particular shade is broken into tiny pieces and has a shred of the wrapper left on it, if even that, you're either forced to change colors or give yourself a hand cramp from using a crayon that's an inch big. And if you stumble across "Wisteria" instead of your intended color, then the whole picture has taken a turn for the worse because you are now being forced to color what the crayons tell you to and not go by your intended idea.
3. Wrappers with witty names to distinguish the varying shades of blues and greens and purples only add to the coloring experience. I mean, who would want to color with just "RED" when they could be coloring with "razzamatazz" or some other such color. When I was younger I used to try and keep the wrappers on for as long as possible. In my young mind, Mr. Crayola would bane my existence if there were crayons exposing their bare colors for all to see.
It is socially unacceptable in the crayon world for crayons to be naked. These crayons were banished to the 'mystery bin' where they are subject to being broken, shoved up a child's nose, or forgotten about all together.
Let me go into detail explaining why:
1. I much enjoy the smell of fresh ink and wax when you've opened a previously-hermetically sealed box.
2. I feel using used crayons hampers your creativity. If you're coloring something and no other shade but "Purple Mountians' Majesty" will do (and yes, I spring for the 120 count box of crayons, not the measly eight pack you get while you're in elementary) and you find that this particular shade is broken into tiny pieces and has a shred of the wrapper left on it, if even that, you're either forced to change colors or give yourself a hand cramp from using a crayon that's an inch big. And if you stumble across "Wisteria" instead of your intended color, then the whole picture has taken a turn for the worse because you are now being forced to color what the crayons tell you to and not go by your intended idea.
3. Wrappers with witty names to distinguish the varying shades of blues and greens and purples only add to the coloring experience. I mean, who would want to color with just "RED" when they could be coloring with "razzamatazz" or some other such color. When I was younger I used to try and keep the wrappers on for as long as possible. In my young mind, Mr. Crayola would bane my existence if there were crayons exposing their bare colors for all to see.
It is socially unacceptable in the crayon world for crayons to be naked. These crayons were banished to the 'mystery bin' where they are subject to being broken, shoved up a child's nose, or forgotten about all together.
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